Black Mesa Wolves Complete Series Boxset Bks 1-7 Page 13

If Rafe Bardou thought he could play a player, he had another thing coming.

  “Are you going to—hurt him?” Rielle still looked at Sara wide eyed. “I really didn't mean to spill the beans, Sara. I just thought you had to know.”

  Sara shook her head and impulsively reached across the table to touch Rielle's hand in a comforting manner. She always forgot how soft-hearted Rielle was. She was the most tender wolf in the pack. Probably ate daisies instead of bunnies when she hunted.

  “I promise to leave his tail intact,” Sara said. Rielle visibly relaxed. “But the jury is out on whether or not he will still get his ass bitten. Hard.”

  9

  Rafe groaned and rubbed his temples. He'd been writing up yet another report for Alpha. At this rate, he'd be a hunched over old man well before his time.

  A quick grin skimmed his lips. He wasn't old yet. He still had many years left to bring Sara to the brink of an explosive orgasm, teasing her with it until she begged in that shivery, out-of-control voice of hers when she was unbearably aroused, then tumbling her over the edge to the echo of her drawn out gasps and moans.

  If she'd ever let him touch her again, that is.

  He had to shift position a bit on his semi-comfortable office chair as he pictured her the way she'd looked at the hot springs. Finally responding to him again, the way her wolf wanted, the way he wanted. Skin flushed, full lips open and moist, nipples taut as pretty little pebbles in his hands as he rolled them back and forth with his fingers.

  Three weeks seemed impossibly long ago. He savored their hot springs encounter by replaying its each moment in his mind. Then again, he'd waited for her for over a year. Three weeks, he could handle.

  His wolf huffed in soft disagreement. Rafe hmphed back, and stood to pull his arms behind his back. He reveled in the stretch and the fluid play of his own muscles. He was in plenty good shape to keep on pleasuring that sexy little wolf. Just seeing her expression at the peak of her release had sent a hot current zipping through his veins. To know he was the one responsible for the complete abandon on her face. That he was the one for whom she'd called out in her rasping, pushed-to-the-edge voice, gratified him. The knowledge almost made him dizzy, because Sara was the only mate he wanted. And he needed her to be that mate sooner than later.

  After days of wondering what he'd done to make her turn tail so quickly, he'd finally figured it out. Sara still wanted to play with him, to keep it simple and easy. It was her standard modus operandi with men, and the same thing she'd pulled on him the last time. He'd always known she was skittish about relationships. In his mulish judgment, not to mention a healthy dose of solid lust, he'd decided the thing to do was show her what she meant to him. To be clear that she was his mate, that he wanted the permanent commitment of a full-on relationship with her.

  What a pitiable mistake that had been. Letting her see how much he valued her had set off clanging sirens in her commitment-phobic mind and she ran from him faster than a deer being hunted for dinner.

  His wolf sent him an image of a big, strong wolf tripping head first over a tree root, only to come up looking chagrined and maybe even a bit foolish.

  Rafe sighed.

  And then they'd had their little chat the other morning, which hadn't gone quite as he'd hoped. For almost a full day afterward, Rafe had analyzed every damn word of their conversation again and again until his wolf forced a shift to get him into a simpler, freer state of mind so it would stop fruitlessly wrestling with itself.

  One essential aspect of the symbiotic relationship the human self had with the wolf self was the power each had over the other. A human shifter was the same being as his wolf, and vice versa. The deepest part of the difference lay in the animal self and the human self. Each one informed the other in ways that worked for the best existence overall. If the human over thought things, the animal took over in order to bring calm, simple sense back in. If the animal strayed too far toward natural predatory instincts, the human took over to reintroduce more rational thought.

  Of course, there were wild wolves in the world; shifters who had no pack but were not rogue, and lived much more from the animal side of the equation. But Rafe was not a wild wolf. He was an alpha, and he needed to remain clear and sharp.

  His phone chirped and he checked the message. A scowl immediately crossed his features. Unsanctioned wolf activity had been detected west of the den, again out in the canyons and mesas near where he and Sara had been patrolling earlier in the week. The rogue alpha-to-be, Luke, had accounted for all his wolves. He'd dismissed one who clearly would never truly be able to function in a sanctioned pack. The others he vouched for, and was keeping them under tight control while they enjoyed the hospitality of the Black Mesa Pack.

  A somewhat suspicious hospitality on occasion, Rafe knew, but courteous nonetheless. Channing Bardou would tolerate nothing less from his pack members. In return, Luke Rawlins had guaranteed his remaining wolves would behave, which included not venturing beyond the central den premises without escort.

  Whoever the wolf was sniffing around the southwestern edges of Black Mesa territory, it was in for a serious surprise. Rogue or not, it didn't step paw onto their territory without questioning. Alpha wanted Rafe and Sara to join up with the patrol currently out there and bring it in.

  This would be a fun hunt. But first he needed his patrol partner with him. Another grin slipped onto his face as he flicked his thumb at his phone and called Sara while jogging downstairs to head to his house.

  * * *

  Sara's ire rose to a sharp, fine point when her phone buzzed and she saw Rafe's brief text. Meet me at my place. Strange wolf southwest boundary

  Perfect timing.

  It took her twenty minutes to get from downtown to the den. She didn't bother stopping at her place to grab more practical clothes for what could be a long patrol in both human and wolf forms. A small overnight bag she periodically checked and restocked always rode in the trunk of her car, filled with a variety of clothing options. Good thing she thought ahead that way, because she was still so annoyed she probably would have picked out a crazy ensemble.

  Pure angry energy carried her straight from her car to Rafe's front door. She was almost too focused on the sizzling irritation to notice the neat little vegetable garden off to the side, the one he kept well tended when he needed to zen out, as he had once told her. Or the cute porch swing his mother had given him several years ago, which Sara sometimes saw the young cubs swinging on when they came by to visit. Rafe was unflappable as an alpha-to-be, but he was also unerringly gentle with kids and seemed to genuinely enjoy their presence.

  Not that she wanted to notice these things right now. Nope. Right now, she was still charged up from finding out about his new pack.

  With a sharp rap, she announced her arrival. Even his door had personality to it. Hand carved, it featured a dark, heavy wood with intricate yet subtle designs above and below frosted inset windows. The entire little house was attractive in a serious way. Just like the man.

  Rafe swung open the door. Sara felt some of her fury weaken as he stepped out into the light and she got a good look at him. Jeans hugged his hips. A black t-shirt molded itself to his chest. He hadn't shaved for a few days, so an unbelievably sexy stubble grazed over his chin and cheeks. His eyes, the color of a deep blue mountain lake, regarded her with a healthy amount of interest.

  She had the most insane desire to lean forward and lick him.

  He didn't tell you he was leaving, she reminded herself as sternly as possible.

  “That's your outfit?” The low, easy rumble of his voice caused a rippling shiver up and down her skin. He didn't seem to mind drinking her in with his eyes. “I like it.”

  Sara took a deep breath and stood as tall as she could. Which meant even wearing heels, her head barely reached his nose.

  “Ready to go?”

  Willing herself to stop thinking about his darned lips, she kept her voice firm. “Nope. We've got something to discuss first.�
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  He frowned. “Problem?”

  “Yes. You haven't been honest with me, and I want to know why.”

  She kept her chin tipped up and hoped she looked unyielding.

  He only looked perplexed. It made him even more lickable. She stomped on the desire.

  “About what?”

  Sara took a deep breath. “About your new pack. When exactly will you be leaving? And when did you plan to tell me? Or did you?”

  Cocking her arms on her hips to give herself the will to not cave in front of his damnably male self, even tapping her fingers for good measure, she waited.

  * * *

  Damn. Rafe's wolf sat up. Rafe tried to force away images of Sara's long, bare legs wrapping around his waist while he groped for the best answer. The one that wouldn't get her madder at him than she already was.

  “Sara,” he began.

  “Rafe,” she immediately snapped back. Her fingers beat out a staccato rhythm against her sides under the short, sassy little blue dress she wore. He couldn't help notice the beautiful swell her hips made. All he wanted to do was grab them and pull her close to him. Preferably on top of him, where the dress would ride up to those sweet hips and expose every gorgeous inch of her.

  Instead, he ran a hand through his hair to rub his temples. Just behind the beautiful she-wolf glaring at him for all she was worth, Black Mesa rose. Like Sara, the mesa seemed to accuse him of abandoning it.

  His wolf let out the wolfish equivalent of a disgusted sigh and poked a claw into his mind.

  “Sara, I couldn't tell you. No one else is supposed to know yet.”

  “I'm not no one, Rafe.” Her eyes and her voice both snapped. “We're patrol mates, and—”

  From the sharp way she cut herself off, he sensed something running deeper and more furiously hot beneath her words.

  He tried reasoning calmly yet directly, which usually worked for him. “You don't seem to want to be someone for me.” Inside, he flinched at the words. The knowledge still stung. “I wasn't supposed to tell anyone until Alpha was ready to make the announcement.” He gave her a searching look. “How did you find out?”

  She flapped one hand dismissively. “That doesn't matter. What does matter is all the confusion I'm getting from you.”

  He couldn't help a short laugh. “From me? I've been clear. What I don't understand is your temper right now.”

  Wrong thing to say. That lit a fuse under her.

  “Temper? My temper? Rafe, this is not about me being angry that you didn't tell me you're leaving! You're leaving!”

  Repetition seemed to shock her into the truth of his impending departure. Abruptly quiet, her posture shifted from crackling anger to nonthreatening, nervous unease. The blonde locks Rafe again wanted to tangle his hands into curled and waved over her shoulders and delicate neck. A few strands blew over her eyes in the light breeze. She didn't swipe them away. Her instant relaxation from aggression to more submission lowered his own defenses as well.

  After another long moment, he carefully tried again.

  “I seem to keep screwing up with you, Sara. But I don't know how to handle this.” He paused to uncharacteristically search for words. “You said you weren't ready. You showed me you were weren't ready. So I backed off—again—to let you do what you needed to do.”

  A faint nod. She kept looking right at him, which just slightly unnerved him and his wolf. He wasn't used to her being so direct.

  “Alpha wants me to start up a new pack because it needs to happen,” he said, keeping it simple. “He's our Alpha. I'll always obey his commands, no matter what.”

  She nodded again, a tiny tremble bobbing in her chin. It still didn't seem like tears, however. Bothered that he couldn't place her emotion, he continued.

  “I need a mate, Sara.” The sentence hung stark between them. “I can't run a new pack without one. And I have to start this pack soon. The timing is critical.”

  “Did you know when we first got together?”

  “You mean last year? No. Alpha told me a few months ago.”

  Her face dropped even more.

  “When we were first put on patrol together.” The usual lilt had left her voice.

  Rafe blew out a long breath. He'd thought of that, too, but only within the last week. It didn't remotely surprise him to finally put the pieces together. His father was a brilliant strategist. He'd probably thought Rafe and Sara would be good mates since they were pups. But he would never force any such decision on any of his wolves. He'd maneuver them into place, certainly. The final outcome had to be one of their own making, however.

  An outcome Rafe was destroying with every wrong word and move he was making. Maybe Caleb was right about him being a lame-ass alpha. If he couldn't convince Sara of his completely honorable intentions—well, almost honorable, considering he wanted to haul her inside, flip up that little skirt of hers, and fling her sweet ass onto his bed—convincing other wolves to follow him seemed to be getting farther out of his grasp as well.

  His wolf's ears lowered at Rafe's dark thoughts.

  “What do you want, Sara?” He let the words ride the breeze and swirl around them both.

  She bit her upper lip as she regarded him. The cogs in her mind seemed to spin as he watched her. Finally breaking his glance, she stared with intent at the not yet blooming lilac bush that crowded against his deck railing. Reaching out to break off a piece, she worried it somewhat savagely between her fingers.

  Quietly, he waited, despite it being hard to maintain his impassive face when he wanted to step forward and kiss the hell out of her.

  Finally, she flicked her gaze back to his and spoke. A bit more fire rippled through her voice this time, but the bounce and sparkle he associated with Sara was still not quite there.

  “What makes me angry is that you weren't open with me. Look.” She sighed. “Yes, I like you a lot, okay?”

  The rosy flush he enjoyed so much crept through her face as she said that. Rafe felt a gleam of hope he hadn't completely ruined every chance with her.

  “But I have to ask.” She paused before rushing out, “Did you seduce me like that in the hot springs only because you need me to help you with a new pack? Was that all you were looking for?”

  His wolf reared back in distress at the naked worry in Sara's tone and face.

  “What? No!”

  Rafe stared at her and wondered how he'd gone from making this sexy little vixen come on command to having her think he was some sort of cruel puppet master.

  * * *

  Sara let Rafe's yell ring through her ears.

  Just asking him that made her feel a bit like a whiny, petulant child. Awesome. One sexy wolf she liked a little too much, and she might turn into a pathetically needy girlfriend. Not that she was his girlfriend. Although she could be his mate. Maybe.

  Her wolf turned in anxious circles, just like Sara's mind. An image of running and leaping filled her head, and she felt the small wolfish push that always meant she was getting too tripped up by her own thoughts.

  Okay. Time to rephrase. Somehow she'd have to stumble her way through it.

  Opening her mouth, she just let out whatever words would come. “I'm not that girl, Rafe,” she said softly. “I told you commitment isn't my style. And I want to prove myself on my own terms. And....”

  He waited. She noticed he'd crossed his arms over his chest. Which was a shame because it really was a nice, broad, well-defined masculine chest. Which led down to a sculpted waist. Which led to...strong legs, which were spread a bit apart to root his stance to the ground. Muscular thighs filled out the jeans, leading up to the spot between his legs where she knew temptation hung thick and beautiful. Unfortunately, temptation remained hidden behind denim.

  Swallowing, she looked back at his face. Now an eyebrow was cocked. She hurried on.

  “Rafe, I can't just be something for you to use, to—”

  “That is not at all—”

  “This would have to involve
both of us.” She let her voice pitch over his. He subsided and gestured for her to go on with a sharp inclination of his golden head. “You didn't even think to ask me.”

  “Because I knew you would bolt.”

  She twisted her lips. Right. He did know her.

  “This is my pack, Rafe. I thought it was yours, too. I thought you would be the alpha here someday.”

  Her wolf rubbed her coat along the edges of Sara's mind in encouragement and understanding. She tried again, attempting to not sound quite so needy.

  “You asked what I want. This is what I want.” She waved her arms around them to include the pack den, the expanse of distant mountains, brilliant blue sky, a hawk crying in the distance, the two of them. “This is home, and this is where I'm supposed to be, and this is where and how I'm making my place. I'm ready to do more, to be more.”

  She paused as those last words sank in. Rafe stood motionless and still mostly expressionless, although she thought a darkness skipped across his face.

  “Spending time with you makes me smile. And more.” Of course she blushed at that admission. This time, she could swear a flash of satisfaction swept across his face before he schooled it back into that self-contained Rafe mask. “But this is too much, too soon. I want—I need to get the ground under me. Does that make sense? I just barely realized I want to be stronger on my own. I can't take on another role right now.”

  She didn't have to add, And I'm not ready yet.

  About five lifetimes later, he nodded. Then he glanced at the phone still clutched in his hand.

  “Okay. We have to go. Are we good for the moment?”

  Sara swallowed past what seemed to be an enormous dry expanse in her mouth.

  “That's it?” she said softly. “That's all you have?”

  The expression on his face matched the blackness of his shirt.

  “It's all I have to give right now, Sara.”

  Coldness spread through her as she nodded back at him. All the fight drained out of her, all the desire to do battle and engage him somehow.